“Generation” Why

A week passes so fast. No sooner I was receiving comments on my previous week’s column than the next deadline arrived. I have to fax my column positively today. Tariq Kawaka (Bureau chief of the newspaper) will call any time to remind.

What subject shall I write on? I am not ready at all. There are many subjects but which one to choose? I asked my colleagues. Swaline David suggested writing on the occasion of Bill Clinton’s birthday. I love to write on American politics. Then I bumped into our Assistant manager John Diterlizzi. He advised me to leave politics for a change and write about the young generation, who use the word ‘why?’ in reply to your every advice. I was interested in Bill Clinton’s subject but John’s advice was important, too. When I thought of my children, I decided to write on this subject. Here I go.

While contemplating, I realize there is a generation gap in my own home. The time I was born in, now looks obsolete. There is a vast difference between my thoughts and those of my children. I used to memorize what I was taught at school and thought I was intelligent when I succeeded in examinations. Today kids do not learn by heart but set directions with the help of books and go ahead. So far ‘knowledge’ is concerned, I have no doubt about it that schools today have the same standards as universities in our times. That’s why, in our daily lives, when we reproach our children over something, we tend to hear back, ‘Why?’ In our childhood, when our elders would give us an advice, we would adhere to it only second to the laws of God and His prophet. Today when our kids question our advice or ask “why,” we get annoyed. I often say to my children, “When I teach you something, don’t ask ‘why’.” My children keep quiet out of respect for me, but I know they are not satisfied. When they ask questions, they do not mean to be disrespectful. Actually they want reasoning for everything they are told to do or not to. There is a difference between old and the new generations. We did not argue with our elders due to two reasons: First, our knowledge was limited and the standard of education was different. We revered our elders and did not question them out of respect. We had read that to find fault with an elder is itself a fault. Today children don’t think that questioning or asking “why” is disrespectful. They want to know the reality behind an advice or order. They do not digest a thing without reason and philosophy behind it because today the standard of education is way high and quite different from what it used to be in our times. Second, the civilization and culture of the part of the world we live in, i.e. North America, is very different from elsewhere. VIP culture does not exist here. We would not even think of addressing an elderly person, in our locality, by his or her first name. Here children address elders by their first names and the elders don’t seem to mind. It is very common here that an assistant addresses his boss by his first name. If you want to show someone respect, just address him with a ‘Mr.’ before his last name.

The “why” syndrome is found in kids from 12 to 22 years of age. I understand that they ask “why” because they want to be clear about a concept so that when they talk about it with their friends, they have ample reasons. In this modern age and at this place, nothing is built on sand. It is not insolence but curiosity that makes the children ask “why.” We parents should make it a point that when we talk to our children, especially those between 12 and 22 of age, we should talk to them with knowledge and rationale. There is no harm in it. Prophet Mohammed’s (Peace be upon Him) teachings should serve as guidance for us. A woman once came to the prophet and requested him to advise her son to eat less sweet. The prophet asked her to come a few days later. After a few days when the woman came with her son, the prophet advised the boy and asked him gently to consume less sweet. The woman said to the prophet, “You could have said these few words the first time I came to you?” The prophet said, “I used to eat excess sweet. From the time you came first, I reduced my intake of sweets, so I could advise your son. How could I have advised him to do something that I myself did not do?”